a fresh new day! it's a sunday and i had just finished my morning exercise. i was called for, from my sweetest dreams. it was the dawn. the sky is still in its darky mood. my mum had woke me up. ytd i told her i wanted to go for a run this morning. she actually remembered me saying that, and eventually, woke me up. i felt the determination in myself. the only me. once in a lifetime i'll do such 'silly' thing. since when did i ever woke up in the EARLY morning and go for a run? maybe in school during PE. but by that time, it's not that early anymore. hesitations. decision lies on me, myself. lying on my bed thinking over and over again whether to wake up and enjoy the fresh air outside. it seemed to be an easy decision-making, but to think of how tiring it will be at the end of the run, will make one regret. It's just like, putting in efforts to just obtain a consummate result. If you tried hard enough, at the end of the event, the sense of satisfactory lies within you. however, after trying so hard, the fatigability is so high, one could just fall over. being cursory will result in negative remarks. but no matter what the result will be, i'll face it with all my courage and hold my tears.

i'm finally prepared for this battle. with only a watch to time myself. running with an empty stomach, doesnt make a difference. strolling briskly towards my destination, Bedok reservoir. a warm-up. the gate of hell is awaiting for my arrival. the senses of saltish perspirations erupted from my mind. my heart is beating profusely. every single step. every single loop. every single 500m. every single person i ran past. i can feel the inspiration between them, that brought me forward, towards the end. where in the world is the end? the road seemed to be endless. i felt fatigue. my heart is dying. can i persevere? i tried to. but finally came to a stop. my legs are arching. i can feel my heart hitting against my ribs with jackhammer's ferocity. it's not fear. but exhaustion. it just goes on and on. i can feel the rapid beats in my temple. i'm such a disappointment. i wanted to aim for a non-stop run of 4.8km. i've failed. totally. disgrace.

to think of it. i've already ran 3km, before i stopped. it's more than usual. i cant just stop there. i must outbest myself. even if i overwore myself, it's worth it. my early determination. it's finally the end. i stopped thrice. and finished the run in 25min 11s. the eruption in my head, the tired feets. i was completely fagged. completely. the first view of the reservoir, has now became a blur image. i was almost losing consciousness. did i threw away my disgusted memories away during the run? my past memories. how people had betrayed me, how people had neglected me, how people had ignored me, how people had opposed me, how people had rejected me, how people had comments about me...

my worn-out look gave all an impression of myself. i walked the 'long' distance back home. i felt...lonely. to be the loneliest guy in the world is not a bad idea.. afterall..


the ugly me.


our class-tee~

the lonely sunglass. for lonely people like me.

9:45 AM
im alone; out of your mind;